PFL – Week 5 recap

Whew. We made it though 5 weeks.

Fatal Plus 1414

Hoggetowne Mafia 1513

Of course Fatal reverts to his losing ways!  Fatal Plus is great at close losses so I’m surprised that this wasn’t more of a nail biter. They normally score enough to win, but end up get fucked by the schedule. Not this time. 1,414 doesn’t deserve to win.  The sad part is Mafia gets a W out of their 1513. Too bad you both can’t lose this week.

Mafia’s score shouldn’t be a source of embarrassment though. 1513 was pretty damn close to the average PFL score of around 1,542.08333333333.

The average point total this week was better than expected. The bye week certainly had the owners making some lineup moves, but all of us have very deep benches. By deep, I mean you should always have several choices. No one can bitch about the size of our rosters, only about the quality our teams.

FATAL 

Kolb or Fitzpatrick? Kolb or Fitzpatrick? Kolb or Fitzpatrick (150) ? The correct answer was Fitzpatrick. Had made the right choice, the extra 98 points would have meant you lost 1512 to 1513, which would have been infinitely better.

You also started the wrong defense. You left Victor Cruz (358) and  Heyward-Bey (258) on the bench. Amazing that you could make every possible incorrect decision when setting your lineup. Brilliant. Way to give this one away.

MAFIA

LOL @ Kyle Orton. No wonder they brought Tebow into the game.

Bench player of the week for Mafia was Doug Baldwin (332)

Yahoo doesn’t even have a picture of this guy on file.

Nice pickup though.

Romo will be back next week, so you can safely put Orton out to pasture.

DURTY WHORES 1912

Pigfuckers 1340

WHORES

Whores pick up another win to remain undefeated. For the record, Whores have faced the easiest schedule of any team this year. But, they have earned their wins and sport the 3rd highest point total in the league. They have depth too. Look at who’s lurking on the bench:

Philip Rivers isn’t on the bench because it was his bye week, he’s on the bench because Whores have a better quarterback to start in free agent acquisition Cam Newton. Cam wasn’t even on the Whores roster until week #4, so there was plenty of time for all other owners to have picked up Cam.

PIGFUCKERS

Pigfuckers had no reason to go get Cam, as they have Aaron Rodgers on the roster. At least there’s one bright spot for this team. At 1-4 and currently working on a 4 game losing streak, pigfuckers need to make some changes. Maybe try to experiment a bit.

Don’t get depressed about the way the season is going. Take comfort in knowing there are others out there just like you.

GvilleGreen 928

Donkey Punchers 1641

This has to be a mistake. 928 points? No one scores under a grand.

Speaking of noticing a decline….

Green

Stafford? 199 Blount? 130  The second highest point total on the roster was Pettigrew with 138.  Not a good sign. Pettigrew?
Green has dishonored not only himself, but all of us.

Green had 4 players on a bye this week. That’s been my strategy in the past. Draft all guys with the same bye week, so it can only cost you one game. There was no mismanagement going on this week, as no one on the bench could have saved this week for Green.

Donkey is 1-4 thanks to this victory. Green simply bent over and let Donkey have his way. 1641 was just enough to earn the win.

Donkey

Vick, Jennings and BenJarvus was all the scoring anyone needed to beat Green this week.

The bye week strategy was in effect for Donkey this week too, with six players on a bye week. Didn’t matter though, as they still cruised to victory.

BenJarvus is the man. When exactly did the Patriots become a running team? I’m guessing it can’t be too difficult, with defenses completely scared of the passing game. Linebackers are busy worried about the Patriots tight ends, etc. Just like for years, Addai has run the ball against defenses hell bent on stopping Peyton. Still, BenJarvus runs hard. I like the guy, but he’s not ready for this workload. In fact, he has a toe injury and was held out of practice on Wednesday. One week of work and he’s hurt.

On the other hand, New England’s D blows, Devery and Denarius. When is Vick going to get hurt again?

Offal Team 1748

Swamp Kings 1531

You are my bitch. I know that you know that I know that you know you are my bitch, but don’t get too excited. I have plenty of bitches.

Wes Welker?

+

Swamp Kings have a history of great teams that fail around playoff time. This year they’ve decided to spare themselves the disappointment of not making the PFL Championship game by eliminating themselves early. There will be no tears, because there is no hope. 475 transactions later, you team will still be looking for quality players.

McFadden and Calvin Johnson were both great picks. Both are having great years.

Felix Jones in the third round hasn’t worked out. He’s been playing with a dislocated shoulder, and while handling the feature back role fairly well, he’s still the same boom or bust kind of guy, and is better suited to the flex spot than a RB2.

Fourth round pick Kenny Britt is on IR.

Sixth round pick Boldin has been a disappointment to go along with 10th round pick Joe Flacco.