PLF – Week 8 recap

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Hope everyone had a spooky and bizarre Halloween. Didn’t see nearly as many great costumes this year. Not sure why. Also didn’t see nearly enough slutty costumes. That’s one of the joys of Halloween. Women can’t simply dress as a nurse, it has to be a slutty nurse. Red Riding Hood? Sure, but make sure your tits are hanging out too.

The best ones I saw this year were low on creativity, stolen from years past.

This one I dig.

 

LOL @ Serena Williams. Nice. This one could have been done every year for the past however many years, but this is the first I’ve seen of it. Sweet.

 

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Last week I posted pictures of the ad campaign “This is not who I am. This is not ok.”

We should all be a little more culturally sensitive? Fuck that. Here’s one from that may offend some people (but I doubt it), the Taco Belle:

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Monday night was a big game for a couple of teams this week. Here’s how the scoreboard looked before MNF kickoff:

Would Whores be able to overcome the 281 point deficit with Ryan Mathews and Dwayne Bowe yet to play? Yes indeed.

DURTY WHORES 1624

On My Knees 1587

See, this girl gets it. Not just Abe Lincoln, but Whore Abe Lincoln:

WHORES

Ryan Mathews finished with 194 and Dwayne Bowe had 124. Whores Win!

Cam Newton continues to piss me off every week. After Cam signed at Florida a local radio station host called Cam’s high school coach for an interview, so the Gator fans could learn a bit more about this prize recruit. The host asked why would Cam sign with Florida, knowing he would sit behind Tebow? The high school coach just laughed,  ”You’ve never seen Cam play, have you?”  Look out if Carolina ever manages to cobble together a defense.

Arian Foster – only 3.4 yards per rush, but had a big 33 carries vs. Jax as the Texans ran the clock and ran the ball like a boss.

Arian Foster still hates your fantasy football team — and all the dorks who keep obsessing over his stats while having little to no interest in the Texans’ overall fortunes.

“We’re not trying to fill up stat sheets for your fantasy football team,” Foster says after Houston’s 24-14 gut-check win over the Jacksonville Jaguars at Reliant Stadium. “We’re looking to get wins.”  source

For the record, the sports writer called us dorks, not Foster.  This is the douchebag writer, Chris Baldwin:

 

 ON MY KNEES

Falls to 5-3, and after two straight losses is tied for the lead in division Anal Fury with Wanderlust.

Brady managed a decent fantasy week, despite the Steelers defense playing a great game. I wonder if other teams will follow the Steelers lead in daring the Patriots to beat them deep?

Steve Smith is on pace for 1,836 yards this season.

Sidney Rice put up 204 points? That means that Jackson is back at QB. Good news for the Seahawks and Rice owners.

Ray Rice – 378 vs. the Cardinals. 18 rushes and 7 catches. On deck is the Steelers.

Greg Olsen – 206 – While Cam has been a huge upgrade for the Panthers, they now have 2 TE that can play too. They are not quite the Patriots tight ends, but Shockey and Olsen are pretty good.  Who knew they looked so much alike?

Swamp Kings 1356

Hoggetowne Mafia 1073

Both of these owners are Gator grads, so I thought I’d just throw this out there since the gator football team sucks.

Swamp Kings 

Don’t call it a comeback
I’ve been here for years
I’m rocking my peers
Puttin’ suckers in fear

Currently on a 2 game win streak when everyone else in division Anal Fury is on a losing streak, they continue to make up ground in the standings.

1,356 points isn’t much to crow about, but not that many points were called for this week as Mafia had 6 players on a bye week. An easy week for Kings is only fair, as they’ve faced the most difficult schedule of any PFL team this year.

Amazing that Tebow still finished with that many points.  Just as quickly at the Tebowing pose took off in popularity, the comment section of any article related to Tebow now contains a new craze…. X > Tebow

A few examples….

Creed > Tebow

Rob Schnieder movies > Tebow

Wiggum AllStars > Tebow

Cleveland Steamer < Tebow

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Megatron and Boldin both had monster weeks where the opposing defenses simply had no answer. These guys are clearly the strength of Swamp Kings unless Denver can figure out some way of utilizing Tebow better, which is unlikely. What’s odd is that I see where Denver fans are still not giving up on Tebow. They are mad at the coaches for poor play calling and not giving Tebow a chance to feature his unique skill set. They are mad because the right tackle sucks, and Tebow has like 2 seconds to throw. Should be interesting to see how gimmicky Denver gets from here.

MAFIA

Hope you enjoyed your bye week. Mafia falls to 5-3 but is still comfortably in 2nd place in division Cell Block 6.

Mafia has been fucked ever since Peyton Manning went down. Reggie Wayne (122) and Pierre Garcon (132) are still productive, but Painter running the offense absolutely kills the chance for huge weekly point totals from these WR. Mafia is also subject to the ups and downs of  Tony Romo (139). Sometimes he looks like a great quarterback, but often times he looks lost out there. I think it’s more the fault of the offense than Romo. Then again, that’s the personality of this Cowboys team. Stephen Gostkowski (55) had a shitty week, and his failed onside kick was about the worst I’ve ever seen. If Gostkowski has a bad week, you can’t expect to win.

 

Offal Team 2407

RalphWiggum AllStars 1921

Wiggum

LeSean McCoy turned in a HUGE week for nothing. Well, there’s always the point total for tiebreakers. Nevermind. Who are you going to tie with, the 11th place team?

Schaub – 201 vs. the Jaguars. When did the Jaguars get a pass defense? They are 8th in the NFL in passing defense.

Wiggum beat their projection by almost 400 points.

 Offal

On My Knees still holds the weekly record with 2,711 points.

 

 

WanderLust 1252

Fatal Plus 1439

Wanderlust

At least Frank Gore had a good week.

Fatal

11th pick of the 15th round Antonio Brown is starting to pay dividends. He made some nice catches, but was constantly blocking people and I thought he played a great game vs. the Patriots. Having Hines Ward around must have helped with some of the finer points of playing WR in the NFL.

Ryan Fitzpatrick is playing himself into a big contract next year. What a difference a change in offense makes.

 

GvilleGreen 1365

एक सौ गज की दूरी 1460

Two more Gator grads facing each other this week, so I had to include more Tebow nonsense.

Green

Green falls to 2-6. This is why I’m against testing athletes for weed. Obviously, it’s not a performance enhancing drug.

एक सौ गज की दूरी

100 Yards leads the league in starting players that didn’t actually see the field. This week he started TWO. Mike Tolbert just didn’t play but Sebastian Janikowski was on a bye week. Who needs fucking kickers?  Amazingly, 100 Yards wins again.  5-3 so far this year.

 

Pigfuckers 1668

Donkey Punchers 982

Donkey

Donkey Punchers drafted Titan Chris Johnson with the 5th overall pick. Little did we know that Chris Johnson decided to take the year off. I think he would have been better off to fake an injury or something similar. I imagine the true Titan fans hate his ass.  This week, the NFL network put together a montage of his carries against the Colts. Seriously, he’s not making an attempt to hit the holes, break tackles or even get the first down. Totally weak. The Titans need to bench CJ.  So does Donkey. I realize Donkey doesn’t have another RB that he can sub in, but once you go through the act of benching the guy, he will come alive. He will have 250 yards and 3 TD when you put him on the bench. You have to believe.

Michael Vick – 362 vs. the Dallas in a game that was over by halftime. Eagles fucking destroyed the Cowboys. It was lovely to watch. Is it just me, or does everybody hate “America’s Team” ?

The only other player worth mentioning is Lance Moore with 208 points. Of course, he was on the bench this week.

PiggieFuckers

Steven Jackson – 502 !! Where you been, man?

Fuckers saw most of the team score in the 140-180 range, and that was good enough to get the win this week. Fuckers improve to 3-5 with this victory. Even better is that they picked up a W while Aaron Rodgers was on a bye. Bonus.

Hat tip to 100 Yards for the following:

 

And finally, there’s this: